Some days, i feel like a dead man walking. i keep drinking, and i keep fucking running my mouth ,im an asshole,i hate people, and people hate me. thats how its always been. Everytime i get a voice, i freak the fuck out . i cant be alone any longer, but im not fit of mind to be seen by people. I feel helpless. I cant write, cant make art, cant make music, ive got the motive for it all, but inevitably, im a nobody. i try so hard, i swear i do, but its usless. Im gonna start a new project eventually, but right now everything just feels dead...... god, i know I am! I crave pleasure, something new.. ive gotta get the fuck out of here! i need MONEY!!!! a LOT OF IT, and FAST!!!!! Ive been fighting with god these past few weeks. i keep seeing the signs, its really starting to freak me out. i feel like someones gonna come up behind me at any minute. what if i get kidnapped...? or raped?? or they try to wipe my brain!? they cant get in. i wont let them in. im no good alive and too pathetic to die. If i had a gun i would shoot myself right between the fuckng eyes.